To Kill A Mockingbird

Dear Datuk Professor,

To Kill A Mockingbird is the title of novel by Harper Lee published in 1960. It is also the title of a movie starring Gregory Peck based on the Harper Lee's novel. The main theme of To Kill A Mockingbird  involves racial injustice and prejudice. Some people called you a "walking encyclopedia", but I would like to call myself the "surfing Wikipedia" with the following quote from Wikipedia: Mockingbirds are a group of New World passerine birds from the Mimidae family. They are best known for the habit of some species mimicking the songs of other birds and the sounds of insects and amphibians, often loudly and in rapid succession.

Anyway, my posting has nothing to do with To Kill A Mockingbird—neither the novel nor the movie. I'm simply using the title in my posting to make a dramatic impact on you for what you did to me—mocking me for my failures and weaknesses! What Datuk has done did not involve racial injustice because both of us are of the same race, Malay, even though you may have a trace of mamak descendant—no offense intended—in your blood. But what you did had a tinge of prejudice against me.

For what reason did you send me a photo of yourself receiving an award from PM Najib at a time when the people were lampooning PM Najib for insulting their intelligence? What was your motive? Was it to ridicule me for mocking PM Najib who, I suppose, is dear to your heart because he presented you with the award? Or was it to deride me over my failures and for having nothing better to do than criticizing other people?

Datuk, you yourself said that you would send me a membership form for the "scientists' club" or something of which you are a member. I certainly did not request the form. I was just fooling around when I said I would like to join your club. You must have been fooled to think that I was really interested in your social club! I am not even a member of my high school old boys' association and my college's alumni association. Then you gave me your word that you would email me the form. I take people for their word when they say things that affect or concern me. What irked me was the fact that you reneged on your promise to send me the form. You failed to deliver on your word regardless of whether the form had any value or not to me!

I wonder why you accepted the datukship in the first place. What was your intention? If not for showing off, why did you post the photo of your receiving the datukship on Facebook? The pride and vanity must have gone to your head when you received accolades for your achievements. You might say that you were sincere in accepting the datukship and the other awards but it is said that sincerity is like a tiny black ant on a black stone on a dark moonless night. In my opinion, a person who says "I'm sincere" while giving a donation or assistance to somebody in need is himself/herself expressing "I'm being insincere". Frankly, I was just trying to kiss up to you when I myself congratulated you on your receiving the energy and scientist or something awards! Truthfully, I was not sincere when I congratulated you because I myself harbor the green-eyed monster called envy! How's that for sincerity?

Anyway, what is the point of accepting a datukship if not for business purposes or for becoming the "strings" for other people to pull to get something? I did suggest that you should commercialize your inventions so that the rest of us could get a piece of the pie. I thought "necessity is the mother of invention". What is the point in inventing something when at the end of the day, you just get to hang the award that you won on your office wall, and the invention itself ends up in a display case that gets shoved into some store room after several years?

Datuk, I gave you a hint that I was hoping you could use your datukship to get me a job, but unfortunately, you were too engrossed in your own vanity to pick up my hint. I even suggested that you use my rooftop in your solar energy research from which I get to save energy and/or sell energy to TNB. It could have been a win-win proposition for you and me. But it appears to me now that your only interest is to win as many awards as you can for yourself from your researches, and feeling conceited about it!

Nevertheless, it is too late for anything now. Why don't you go ahead and send me the membership form for your crème de la crème of scientists club? That will complete your mocking of me—I can take it, unless you are worried that I might contaminate your elite club. After all, you have been mocking me with your silence all this while. All that's left for me to do is to "kill a mockingbird"!